Allen Kendall

Why is it so difficult for men to say, “I’m sorry”? Do we fear that it will make us appear weak? Or do we believe that it tarnishes our image in some way? I think it all comes down to false pride. But what exactly do I mean by that? To clarify, I don’t believe there’s anything inherently wrong with pride. As parents, don’t we strive to instill pride in our children by praising them for their achievements? And as teammates, don’t we celebrate with a high five or a fist pump when someone makes an incredible play? It’s natural to feel proud of our accomplishments; it boosts our self-esteem and strengthens us. And let’s face it – the women we love want a strong man. They want a confident protector.
It’s not our healthy self-image or pride that damages our relationship with our significant other. It’s when we let that pride hinder our honesty. Refusing to admit and address our flaws doesn’t preserve our pride; it creates a barrier between ourselves and the person we adore. As this barrier grows taller, we cannot reach out and connect with the amazing woman we fell in love with. Any obstacle preventing us from physically or emotionally connecting with our loved one is slowly destroying her. This gradual decline can chip away at her confidence, trust, strength, beauty, and even her very well-being.
It’s essential to your relationship to take responsibility for your actions and make amends when you have done something hurtful or disappointing. If you’ve spoken unkindly, broken a promise, come home late, or forgotten a special day, apologize sincerely. Show that you are genuinely remorseful and specify what you are apologizing for. Insincere or vague apologies are insulting, so be humble and speak softly. Your honest acknowledgment of your mistakes is the bare minimum she should be able to expect from you. But being the knight in shining armor, she deserves requires much more effort. You must consistently show her how special she is to you by constantly thinking about her and investing time into your relationship, even when you’re not physically together.
Each day, I try to reflect on how I treat my wife. I examine my words and actions, questioning if I have done anything that could have caused her hurt, no matter how small it may seem. As a man, I am constantly finding ways in which I could have done better. These opportunities allow me to show her how much she means to me. Every day, I find something worthy of an apology – perhaps forgetting to kiss her goodbye or falling asleep when she wanted to talk. Most days, they are minor, and I only note them to correct them. Regardless of what it is, these are chances for me to demonstrate that I am aware of and value her needs. And as I continue to reflect, I become more mindful of these things and remember to do them for her every day. She sees that I think about what is important to her and that she is of great value to me.
Begin your day by considering the impact of your words and actions. Consider what holds importance to her, and strive to bring her joy. If you miss the mark, apologize sincerely. Notice how much she values this effort and observe her reaction to it.